Sometimes those words are benign, part of the landscape of my life scarcely to be commented on anymore. Other times like tonight I wonder how it got to be nearly 7 years and how I can explain to anyone why I am still crying. I even feel embarrassed, silly, or apologetic at times. All I can think to explain it is I miss you. What else can be said of the enduring grief? The longing? The guilt I feel in my inadequacies as a mother and my fear that I didn't deserve you...Time has helped to ease the pain, but mostly in the frequency of it. When it is felt, it is still raw and real as ever before. It's just not every day. Sometimes it is weeks or even months between, other times it'll hit me several times a week.
I don't know what else to say.
I miss you.